Crafting the Perfect Edit: A Sample Email Requesting Revision Guide

Subject: Revision Request – [Report Name] – Factual Corrections Needed

Dear [Author’s Name],

I hope this email finds you well. I’ve reviewed the [Report Name] report, and while I appreciate the effort put into it, I’ve identified a few areas that require factual corrections. These are important to address to ensure the report’s accuracy.

Specifically, I’ve noted the following:

1. On page 3, the sales figures for Q3 2023 appear to be incorrect. Please verify these against the official records.
2. The description of the new marketing campaign on page 7 needs clarification. It currently doesn’t fully align with the strategy discussed in our meeting on [Date].
3. The data in Table 1 seems to have an error in the “Total Revenue” column.

Could you please revise these sections at your earliest convenience? Please let me know if you have any questions or need additional information to address these points. The new deadline for the revised report is [Date].

Thank you for your cooperation.

Best regards,

[Your Name]

[Your Title]

Subject: Feedback on Presentation – [Presentation Title] – Clarity Needed

Hi [Presenter’s Name],

I’ve had a chance to review the presentation, “[Presentation Title].” The content is insightful, but I believe some areas could benefit from improved clarity to ensure the audience fully grasps the key points.

I suggest focusing on these areas:

• The introduction could be more engaging to capture the audience’s attention.
• Some of the technical terms used might be unclear to those unfamiliar with the topic. Consider simplifying these or providing additional context.
• The conclusions on slide 12 could be more impactful by summarizing the main takeaways.

Could you please revise these slides, and let me know if you’d like to discuss these points further? The revised presentation is needed by [Date].

Thank you,

[Your Name]

[Your Title]

Subject: Feedback on Email Draft – [Original Email Subject]

Hi [Recipient’s Name],

I reviewed the email draft you created regarding [Subject of Email]. While the core message is excellent, I believe we could refine the tone to make sure it’s well-received.

Specifically, I’d recommend:

• Adjusting the opening greeting to something more formal, such as “Dear [Recipient’s Name]”.
• Rephrasing the sentence, “[Original Sentence],” to maintain a more professional tone.
• Adding a call to action, like “Please confirm receipt of this email.”

Please revise the email to incorporate these suggestions. The revised email is needed by [Date].

Thanks for your hard work,

[Your Name]

[Your Title]

Subject: Revision Request – Proposal for [Project Name] – Missing Information

Dear [Author’s Name],

I’ve reviewed the proposal for the [Project Name], and I’m missing some key pieces of information. These additions are necessary for a complete proposal.

Could you please address the following points:

1. Detailed budget breakdown.
2. Timeline for the project’s different phases.
3. Include a section on the project’s risks and mitigation strategies.

Please add this information and resubmit the revised proposal by [Date]. If you need any assistance or clarification on what to include, please let me know.

Thank you,

[Your Name]

[Your Title]

Subject: Feedback on Website Content – [Page Name] – SEO Optimization

Hi [Author’s Name],

I’ve reviewed the content on the “[Page Name]” page of our website, and I believe some improvements can be made for better SEO (Search Engine Optimization).

Specifically:

• Incorporate relevant keywords such as “[Keyword 1]” and “[Keyword 2]” throughout the content.
• Optimize the meta description to be more engaging and include the primary keyword.
• Add internal links to related pages on our website.

Could you please revise the content on the “[Page Name]” page to address the above points? The revised version is needed by [Date].

Thank you,

[Your Name]

[Your Title]

Subject: Feedback on Newsletter – [Newsletter Name] – Design Improvements

Hi [Designer’s Name],

I’ve had a look at the draft for the “[Newsletter Name]” newsletter. The content is strong, but some design elements could be improved to make it more visually appealing and reader-friendly.

I suggest:

• Increasing the font size of the headings for better readability.
• Ensuring consistent spacing and alignment throughout the layout.
• Adding more visual elements like images or icons.

Please revise the newsletter design to incorporate these suggestions. The updated version is needed by [Date].

Best regards,

[Your Name]

[Your Title]